Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
