I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize