No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
