Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
