i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
