No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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