if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My first STD was from a foam party
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
