are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish you could order shots online.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
