alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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