I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
