Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
