That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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