Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
