You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
