she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
