Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
