New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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