I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
