What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
