im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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