how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
