It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
These tits shall not be calmed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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