Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
