I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
