Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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