ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
