SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
