6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
