so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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