im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
