So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize