Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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