I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
