paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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