the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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