I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
