ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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