CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
