Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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