He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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