guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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