8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
