How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize