I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
