Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
