We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
