Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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