Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
