Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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