There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
