from now on my penis is your penis
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
