hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
