I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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