I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
