I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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