You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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