we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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