Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
