So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
