Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
