He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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