Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
