I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
