I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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