high people should be assigned attendants
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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