Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
