we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
