Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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