Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
