Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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