I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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