i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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