I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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